


Another Try

by MuffinMouse



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorder, M/M, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Three AM Writing, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinMouse/pseuds/MuffinMouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a hunting trip, Merlin is kidnapped.</p><p>A few days later, Arthur saves him.</p><p>Merlin's ordeal, and the aftermath</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Try

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this at three in the morning. 
> 
> Please leave comments...Sorry if its a little OOC, I'm bad at that

Arthur led Merlin on _another_ hunting trip, despite the fact that they had caught a huge boar the day before. "I just don't see why we have to go out _again_ today!" Merlin exclaimed, and Arthur sighed. " _Mer_ lin, we've talked about this. It isn't only about hunting, it's about _manhood_." "But why can't your knights come with you?" "You're my servant, Merlin, and I-" "Arthur, watch out!" Merlin yelled, sensing a magical presence. Arthur looked up just as a man appeared in the trees, and a whispered spell froze Arthur in place. Merlin felt a force prodding at his mind, feeling how strong he was. "Emrys." The man greeted. "How do you know that name?" The man didn't _look_ like a druid. "We spent a few summers with the druids." The man smiled, and Merlin felt the poking again. His magic boiled in his chest, begging to be let out to defend Arthur from this man who was a possible threat. Suddenly, it was gone. "Did you do that?" "The druids knowledge is very extensive." Now unable to detect magical presences, Merlin was caught unaware when he was hit from behind, knocking him unconscious.

 

When Merlin regained consciousness, he was in a concrete room with two other men, most likely guards. "He's awake, ring the bell." One said as he saw Merlin's eyes open. Footsteps echoed across the room and the door opened and closed.Merlin's neck was strangely tight. He raised a hand and felt leather. _A collar_. He tried to summon his magic. _Still gone_. The collar must be blocking it. "Don't remove it." The guard warned. Just then, the other guard walked back in, followed by the man from the woods and seven others. "Where's Arthur?" Merlin demanded.The man laughed. "Tell me!" " We didn't need him. It was you we were after." "...Why?" "The great Emrys! Born to save Prince Arthur's life!" The man announced spontaneously. "Imagine how much we could sell you for!" _They'll sell me as a magic slave in the next country._ "Of course, we'll have to break you in first." Huh? Some of the men were already eagerly untying their breeches. Merlin tried, once again, to summon his magic, to summon _anything_ that could help him. The man pushed him backwards, so that he fell on his butt, and flipped him over. Merlin struggled frantically, but some of the men rushed over and held him on his hands and knees. His pants were pulled down, and hands were everywhere. His thighs, his buttocks, his cock. Merlin's breath was coming in panicked gasps, fear pumping in his veins. He made a very audible sound of pain when he felt something sliding in. A man was inserting fingers, not waiting until Merlin was in less pain before adding another. Suddenly, they were pulled out, and, before Merlin could appreciate being empty again, he replaced them with his cock. Merlin gasped. "Please-stop!" He begged. "Shut up!" Someone slapped him. "Please! I'll do anything, just not this!" "Someone take his mouth!" A lust-filled command. Several men rushed, but one thrust deep into Merlin's throat, and began to fuck his mouth. The man plunging into his arse pushed Merlin onto the other's dick. Before long, he was gagging constantly. The man in the back spilled with a grunt, and slowly moved out of Merlin. Merlin knew that it was impossible that they would leave him, and his fears were confirmed when another rock-hard cock pushed into him. It disgusted Merlin that these men were getting off on this. The man mouth-fucking him came and forced Merlin to swallow it with a 'drink it, you fucking slut!I know you like it!'. Once again, another took his place. This went on until all of the men were soft and pleased with themselves. After they left, Merlin crouched in a corner, and fell into an uneasy sleep. He dared not take off the collar for fear of what they would do to him.

 

He was extremely hungry when he woke, but he also felt like he needed to throw up. His only food the previous day had been a small breakfast, and the semen they forced him to swallow. Unsurprisingly, he got no food the entire day.

 

The same thing happened the next night. Merlin began to have the ability to retreat into his mind and feel nothing.

 

His third night in the jail, he still had not received food or water. He didn't think he wanted any, either. He was in the middle of another ten men gang-raping him when the door flew open. Arthur! Merlin didn't know whether to be happy or dismayed. Arthur's face turned to horror as he took in the scene, the knights behind him gaping. Merlin's heart sank even more. _Lancelot. Gwaine_. He spotted two of his friends. The knights shook out of their shock and began to cut down everyone in the room. Merlin slowly felt himself slipping away.

 

Merlin woke in a tent, gasping and crying out. He ached everywhere.Arthur walked into the tent. Merlin looked at him for a moment, then looked away to gaze at his bed sheets. Arthur's expression was like a kicked puppy's. "Merlin, you need to drink." Arthur held out a glass of water. Merlin warily took it. He drank a sip, and then, remembering what he had been forced to swallow, bent to the side of the bed and retching. He had nothing in his stomach to throw up besides the mouthful of water he choked on. "Merlin." Arthur's voice was full of pain. "You haven't eaten in four days. Please try." He handed Merlin a piece of bread. Merlin took it, and ate it slowly, fighting down his reaction. Arthur looked relieved. "You may go back to sleep." Arthur left and Merlin fell asleep again.

 

The next time he woke, he was lying on a cot at Gaius'. Gaius urged him to eat and drink. Merlin fought down the urge to vomit once again, and forced some soup down. Merlin was finding it hard to stay awake, and Gaius said that it was expected after the ordeal he had gone through, and he should sleep. So, Merlin did.

 

_The men surrounded him, laughing. "We found you, Merlin!" They jeered. He was pushed on his knees, and he had dicks shoved in his face and ass._

 

Merlin sat up, gasping. He was covered in a sheen of sweat. "Merlin, are you alright?" Gaius asked. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

 

After a week, Arthur grudgingly allowed Merlin to return to work, although he kept a very close eye on him and usually hovered. Merlin still had trouble eating, and he never ate unless he was being watched, which was almost always. He slowly got over drinking though. Finally, after a month, Merlin snapped at Gaius and Arthur, telling them that he was fine and to stop worrying. They both slowly got better. Arthur became more like the old prat he was and Gaius stopped making Merlin come with him on his trips. The nightmares slowly stopped. The first day Merlin didn't eat was a relief. He felt almost normal again. Gaius was gone on an errand, leaving a note that said to make his own food. For lunch, Arthur, who usually delivered it himself after the incident, had a servant bring it. Merlin just plopped it in the pig pen when no one was watching. Merlin asked Arthur to have a servant bring his food from now on, because he didn't want to be a burden. Arthur agreed, unsurprisingly, he had let Merlin almost always have what he wanted after the incident. But Merlin continued to eat dinner with Gaius, so Merlin knew he was okay and wouldn't collapse of hunger.

 

Then, Gaius was away for a week, looking after an extremely sick child. Merlin began to eat the first night, then, with no one watching him, he allowed himself to run to the bathroom and throw it up. On top of that, Merlin's nightmares had started again. The next night, he woke up in the middle of the night panting, sweaty, and shaking all over. His heart was racing. He stumbled into the main room. Overwhelmed with his feelings of anguish and helplessness, he began to cry silently. Merlin glanced up, and through blurry eyes, saw a knife. He grabbed it, and slowly made a shallow incision on his arm. _Jesus, that hurts!_ He thought, but the physical pain was much better than the mental kind. Five cuts later, he actually felt slightly better than before. He wrapped a cloth around his arm and went to his room to sleep. 

 

The same happened the next night: no dinner, sleep, nightmares, cutting, sleep. It went on the first day of cutting, the second, and the third. It would have happened again. But as Merlin walked to the castle, he saw black dots. _Something is wrong._ Still, Merlin tried to ignore it, and climbed the stairs to Arthur's room. As he was dressing Arthur for sparring practice, the world wobbled, warped, and then Merlin was falling.

 

For the second time in three months, Merlin woke up in a cot at Gaius'. "Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed. He was sitting beside the cot. "Thank god!" Arthur must have seen something in Merlins' eyes, because he turned to Gaius. "Can we speak in private?" Gaius nodded. "Just, please, try not to get him worked up. He's still a little touch-and-go." Gaius cautioned. "Of course." Arthur replied. "Merlin, what the _hell_ was that!?!"Arthur said, in what seemed to be a whisper-yell. "I-I'm sorry, I just..." Merlin trailed off. "Okay, first, why are you not eating?" "Um, Arthur, you don't want to know this." Merlin's voice shook. "Yes, I do." Arthur's voice was gentler now. "And better me than Gaius, because he'll just tell me." "They forced me to swallow it, alright! After they were finished with my mouth, they told me to swallow it like the good little slut I was, that they knew I liked it..." The anger inside of Merlin faded away, until he was shaking. "Every time I eat, that's all I taste." Arthur had gone white and his eyes darkened with rage. "And that?" He pointed to Merlin's cuts. "I had nightmares. They went away, but they came back, and it, it felt better to hurt myself than to face them again." Merlin lowered his eyes, aware of his cowardice. Arthur had his anger under control. "What about me?" He whispered. "Did you understand how this would hurt me? God, Merlin, I-" He cut himself off. "You what, Arthur?" Merlin whispered. "I-I love you." His voice broke. "Oh, Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed. "I love you too! I've always loved you, and I-" His face fell. "You shouldn't touch me." "What? Merlin!'' Arthur leaned in to kiss him, but Merlin shoved him away. "I mean it! I'm spoiled! You deserve better than me!" Merlin's eyes shone with tears. "But I want you." Arthur leaned in and pressed their lips together. Merlin let out a small sigh. It was better than he imagined it to be. "I love you, Arthur, if you'll accept me." Merlin gazed into the sparkling blue eyes. "Of course _Mer_ lin, I love you too." And, at that moment, Merlin forgot about magic, sorcerers, princes, and everything else, because he knew one thing for certain: Arthur and him would survive through any trials thrown at them.


End file.
